Hi all. I am a huge fan of Harry and Le Show. However, I just sent this message to him. If you read this and agree with me, I’d be thrilled if you would also send a message asking for an appology. I’m not angry, but I think an appology would also be an appropriate tribute to my fallen friend, who died as an unarmed soldier in the so called war on terrorism.

Dear Harry:

Harry, I am a big fan – I listen to the podcast every week, even this week when I am in Buenos Aires.

Alas, a piece in this week’s show was both incorrect, and frankly very hurtful.

My great friend Thor Hesla was the only American killed in the attack on the Serena Hotel Kabul by the Taliban. The phrase ”...including one American” has a totally new meaning to me.

Thor was in Kabul doing humanitarian development work. The memorial site I’ve put up for him – www.rememberthor.com has been viewed almost 50,000 times in the week since his death. I think that speaks volumes to how widely known and loved this man was.

He did not live at the “5 Star Hotel” as I suspect the woman from Save the Children didn’t as well.

Thor lived in a converted office building within one of the green zones. There were about 8 bedrooms in the building, half of which had private baths, and half of which shared. He was at the hotel the day he was killed because they sold (at a pretty moderate price) gym memberships at their spa. Like the woman quoted in “The Dog Trainer,” he was at the hotel to get some exercise and break up what was, due to the severe restrictions on where aid workers could go without armed guards, a stunningly boring life in Kabul. He put up with those less than glamorous conditions because he was committed to both trying to help the Afghans, and doing his bit to help make us a bit safer by encouraging a civil society in a really troubled part of the world. Prior to Kabul he had worked in South Africa, Bosnia and other “garden spots.”

If you look at the site I mentioned – www.rememberthor.com and read about him – or better yet read some of his writings including the very funny bit called “The Dwarf – you will see that he shared your ironic, cynical, sometimes snarky world view and sense of humor.

But in all fairness, your characterization of aid workers living in luxury was just wrong and itself deserves to be referenced in next weeks “Apologies of the Week”(a trademarked feature of Le Show.

Still, I love the show, and with this exception, keep up the funny work.

Regards,

HLY

Howard is right. Nobody gets to stay at the Serena but a few Gulf State businessmen and senior diplomats. It was one of the few places to go to a gym, and most long-term folk driven to distraction would go to work out as a change of pace from traveling from their office to their group house. It had serious security and was alcohol-free, but I think that it’s stars are a result of being in Kabul. It would probably qualify for a three or four star in most parts of Europe.

All short and long term development workers including Save the Children and Thor’s group, Bearing Point, stay in group houses with 5-10 people, with shared bathrooms and group meals. The work week is six days for all of Afghanistan, and most Afghan holidays are religious or political and are spent in lock-down at the houses because of demonstrations and possible threats. (For example, The Shiite holiday, Ashara shut down Kabul’s development community for two days last week).

While in Kabul, I shared a house with economists, bankers and accountants who were all 55 to 70 years old and were work-focused. They were pleasant, but it was not a fraternity party. Although many describe the houses as villas or mansions, the buildings are hardly that glamorous. The food was casseroles and repetative with occassional bouts of food poisoning (you can imagine this as a group with shared bathrooms). The furniture was local and uncomfortable and sometimes so over-the top roccoco— think hand carved wood chairs straight up with elaborate designs on the back that are uncomfortable from your butt to your head.

Also the water smells like sulfer, so the bathrooms had to be aired because that would permeate throughout the house. (My friend Ellen’s hair turned four shades lighter and kept falling out from the sulfer).

This is the glamorous life in Kabul. The Serena, a few restaurants and cable television were the only saving grace. Now that the Serena and restaurants are off limits, when I go back later this month I will bring DVDs, books and Itunes so every night I can amuse myself at the ‘mansion’ in lock-down.

So the question is why are people there given there are so many other places that actually have an expat life? Where you can golf at country clubs (Egypt), go to parties (Bosnia) and head to beaches (Montenegro, Mozambique, Tanzania)?

The answer is there are few places like Afghanistan where development work can have such a direct impact on the lives of the people there. There is so much to be done. This is why Save the Children and Thor were there, and why they were at the Serena.

Wow, katehead, that sounds like hell to me. Thank you for going back. I don’t know what you’re doing there, but it’s probably like Thor—basically a job the military would be doing if they hadn’t outsourced everything in order to keep our official “footprint” small. And I know from Thor that the money is good, but not that good. Basically what someone with his skills could make in the US, but with nothing to spend money on while there (except pay for an empty apartment back in DC). – Allison

I lived in Kabul for six months last year. I didn’t stay at the Serena. I don’t know anyone that stayed at the Serena, because most of us working in Kabul stay in very modest “guest houses”, including Thor Hesla. I stayed in one tiny room at a guest house, with the only luxury items being a toilet of my own (given how many times you get parasites and other nasties from the food in Afghanistan, that’s a luxury), as well as a small fridge and Internet access, which allowed me to eat and work in my room on my only day off (Friday) since I usually wasn’t allowed to go anywhere else. Our big recreational event on our day’s off was volleyball in the courtyard and playing with the stray kittens. Most aid workers are under strict security measures and are permitted to go to only a handfull of places outside of work, and I rarely found a driver through my agency available for such (we’re not allowed to walk anywhere). One of those few in-bound places was the Serena. A lot of aid workers went there to work out in the gym, since it is the only exercise and mental break many get. The Serena was a place where you believed you were safe enough for just an hour or two, if you were lucky enough to find a driver available to take you there. And it was a place where upper class Afghans went as well (no alcohol was served) and their pride in the place was obvious. I went to the Serena only twice in six months, for brunch. I almost cried the first time I went—it was a tiny, tiny mid-assignment mental break I was very happy and grateful to have. The only people I saw living in the lap of luxury in Kabul were warlords and their supporters. I’m glad I went and I hope I had some impact, and I continue to mentor several Afghan ministry employees via email, helping them in any way I can. But for anyone to imply that the way aid workers in Afghanistan live, including Thor Hesla, is extravagant is insulting.

I want to speak for those who’s friends and loved ones live the ex-pat life. I have never understood the allure. They live in meager conditions in conflict areas under tight security. But, I am proud and in awe of all my friends who jump in where others fear to tread. They do so because they believe they have something to contribute and good can come out of their work. As friends and family, we hold our breath and pray until their safe return. We live in fear of the worst and the worst happened to our dear friend Thor. These people are dedicated, strong, passionate and smart. There is disease, being cut-off from family/friends, threat of death. But, still they go. And, we still hold a hope of their safe return. And, now we pray and support the family and friends of Thor Helsa, who gave his life to make others lives better.

The irony of it all.

Over the past four years, Thor and I have corresponded daily. Multiple times daily, all of which I’ve saved. Before serving in Kabul, Thor spent four years in Kosovo. Here are just a few descriptions of his life, outside work, cut and pasted directly from his e-mails to me:

“I’m sick. I want to crawl into bed and sweat all alone and watch the Simpsons.”

“I unpacked (found the camera software ) went out for a sandwich and a beer, and was in my jammies by about 7:30. watched the “who shot Mr. Burns?” episode of the Simpsons, and while reading my book about Genghis Khan, I feel asleep with book in hand.”

“I miss ice. I am sick of: BBC and CNN. also MTV. I miss “the Simpsons.”

“Many suggested the hospital but I opted for Lutheran therapy ( a steak with onions after the game ended, thence home for Jamesons and the Simpsons )  but I am limping today.”

“Anyway, I just wanted to send you a note while I am still on-line. Being in London alone makes me appreciate being in London with you even more. I eat in restaurants alone and watch rugby in pubs by myself. SORROW !!! Pitiful me. Thank god I bought the Simpsons Christmas collection!!!”

“I worked late, went to a going away party, went home watched two episodes of the Simpsons, went to bed.”

There was no moment in our lives for which Thor did not have the perfect Simpson-ism. He offered them as punctuation marks, as codas, as summations of any type of conversation, from the solemn to the profane. I often urged him to make his million (or at least a few bucks) writing a tiny impulse-buy Tao of the Simpsons. No one was more qualified.

So Mr. Shearer, should you decide to issue the apology, do you think you could do it in the voice of Mr. Burns?

I have known Thor since he was six and I was eight. A five star guy he was not. In the hours after I heard about Thor’s tragic death, I scoured the web for any additional information. It never crossed my mind that Suzanne Griffin, who was also in the hotel gym according to the news article, was staying at the hotel. Mr. Shearer, were you able to find out more than we were?

Mr. Shearer, just in case you still haven’t made up your mind, please consider the following recent letter from Thor to his niece and nephew. They give a glimpse of his quality of life in Kabul:

Thor’s Letter to Niece & Nephew: Bed of Fear; Gym of ‘D’ooh!!!’
Dear David and Olivia:

At your age – really, at anyone’s age – the best thing in the world is to collect more proof that grown-ups – preferably your relatives – are functional morons, at least compared to your own brilliant selves.

With that ruthless thought in mind, I hoped you would both enjoy the following two graphic illustrations that you may both – alas – someday be stricken with the dreaded “D’ooh!!!’ disorder which plagues Hesla men.

“Gym of ‘D’ooh!!!”

I belong to a very nice gym here in Kabul. It is part of a very fancy hotel called the Hotel Serena. It has several nice features, including a beautiful swimming pool and a nice sauna.

The first time I went there, I went swimming. When I got out of the pool, I went to the sauna, and then I took a shower. I took my swimming trunks off in the shower. Then I dried myself off, walked to my locker, dressed, and went home.

Note that I did NOT mention anything about “taking my swimming trunks out of the shower and putting them in my gym bag,” because I didn’t. I left them hanging in the shower. I figured this out when I got home. And I said to myself, “D’ooh!”

The next time I went, I asked if anyone had found them. No one had.

The time after that, I asked again, and to my great pleasure, the adorable Philippine woman who runs the gym immediately went around the corner, and brought them out, nicely folded.

I was so HAPPY ! I had my bathing suit back.

So I went into the locker room, put on my gym clothes, and worked out. Then I changed out of my gym clothes, and put on my bathing suit. I was so HAPPY!

I went to the pool, and I swam my laps. I went to the sauna. I took off my bathing suit to dry it in the sauna. I wrung it out. I was so HAPPY ! I had my bathing suit back.

I wrapped it up in a towel, to dry it more.

I left the sauna. I went to take a shower. After the shower, I got a nice dry towel.

I threw my old towel into a basket to be washed.

Do you notice anything ?

Did you notice that I never wrote, “I took my bathing suit out of the towel I had wrapped it up in….”

Because I did not.

On the same day I got my swimsuit back from the lost-and-found, I threw it into the laundry basket.

I went back to my locker. I got changed.

I realized I had thrown my swimsuit into the laundry basket, wrapped in the towel.

I went back to the laundry basket.

It had been emptied.

I found a gym guy. We went to the laundry room.

We did not find it in the laundry room.

Goodbye, bathing suit.

Lost, Gollum. Lost.

“Gym of D’ooh!!!!” Now all the gym staff smiles nicely at me all the time. They think I am retarded.

• * * * *

Bed of Fear

When I first arrived in Kabul, I was very tired, because of jet lag. I lay down on my bed. It was really hard. But it was okay.

I slept and slept.

After a few days, I was pretty sore from the bed.

It hurt!

One day at breakfast, someone said, “You know, my bed doesn’t have a mattress. It’s just a box spring.”

I laughed and laughed. They were so stupid!

Then, I went to my room. I looked at my bed.

No mattress. I had been sleeping on a box spring.

Of course, I talked to the right people, and a few days ago, they brought in a mattress.

To look at it, you would think everything was fine.

But you would be wrong.

Why?

Because this mattress is THICK in the middle, and THIN on the sides.

Meaning: it slopes.

The first night I lay on it, I kept rolling and slipping. And eventually, This Is What Happened!
(A PHOTO OF 6 FT. 300 lb. THOR FALLING OFF OF THE TWIN BED IS INCLUDED IN THE LETTER, BUT COULD NOT BE POSTED HERE).

That’s right, laugh all you want to.

The most dangerous thing I have faced so far in Kabul:

The Bed of Fear !!!!

That’s it so far.

Talk to you later.

Thor